A lot of people think that getting a girlfriend is extremely hard, but they often just need to understand that it is a combination of things that will determine whether you are successful at anything or not. There are many different ideas on how to get a girlfriend and some of the more popular ones will now follow.
There are some who say that being as honest as possible is the road on how to get a girlfriend. Never lie about anything, especially yourself. The more honest you are, the more likely you will find a woman who is able to live with you, because in the journey that is your relationship while you are together she has accepted whatever she discovered in you. If you present a false image that she agrees with, when this false image is eventually broken (as all lies do eventually fall apart), then this will cause conflict when it comes to life.
But there is an underlying dangerous assumption here — an assumption that the girl you are interested in is as honest as you are. If she’s a sociopath then you’re in for a ride. Therefore, to get a girlfriend, according to this idea, is mutual and unconditional honesty with everyone.
There are others who say being romantic and passionate is sometimes more important than honesty. For example, they would say you would not be very successful to get a girlfriend if you told her that the dress she is wearing “makes her look fat” instead of complementing her gorgeous figure. A true violation of the truth — but for a greater good?
Romance and passion is what drove Romeo, Hamlet, Lord Byron, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and other romantics. Many women also believe that romance and passion is the trick to their heart. They would say that lots of people think the candlelit dinner and the walk on the beach is a cliche, but a lot of women want exactly that. They want to experience life as beautifully as it looks in the movies and feel as special as the stars that are portrayed.
Some say, and they are backed up somewhat by evolutionary science, that flirting and body language (that is the art of seduction, as you find amongst birds for example), is how to get a girlfriend. The love, the romance, the honesty and everything are secondary to the underlying animal impulse to mate. That is why for them body language and flirting is a way in which the successful members of the human species obtain mates. The better you get at flirting and the better you get at responding to and creating body language, the more successful you will be at convincing a girl to go on a date with you.
Smiling is an important part of this. Studies show that only two people smile a lot — honest friendly folks or psychopaths. But there are always other factors that will help you tell those apart.
Another effective method of hooking up with someone is to be as alpha male as possible. This comes naturally to some people and for others they need to learn it. Good examples from the animal world are wolves or bears. There is always a very strong male who dominates all the other males and is the most successful with the female animals. It is similar with humans — some women are looking to take a more secondary role in a relationship and they will respond a lot better to men who are willing and able to take up the alpha position.
This crosses over with honesty as well a lot too. It’s all well and good that a girl wants you to be an alpha male and you can succeed with her if you are, but ask yourself truly whether this is a role you are comfortable in? Nothing is more disappointing for a relationship than finding out later on that a person had deceived you intentionally or sometimes unintentionally.
Some controversial people also believe that only alpha males succeed in getting a girlfriend and sustaining long term relationships. I suppose that could be partly true, but also depends on whether there are other factors. For instance, there are alpha males who are very violent and this can’t be good for a relationship.
The oldest trick in the book to getting a girlfriend though is of course looking around to as many places as possible. Many people like to start with places where they are likely to find women who share their interests. For instance, if someone loved folk dancing then they might go to look in a folk dancing club for a girlfriend. Any social activity or hobby can be a good place to get a new girlfriend. You could go out to a movie with friends who bring their friends, you could go to a conference where you find you share the same philosophical interests, you could spend your spare time in front of the paintings you love in the museum you love — there are infinite ways to look around, but the key is to just do the things you love.
If you’re doing the things you love, when you come across a woman who is doing the same things with love, then you might develop some feelings for her, which could be the first stage of how to get a girlfriend.
Some people take out classified ads and even sign up to online dating services. The Internet has a great many ways of looking around when you’re searching for a girlfriend, but you need to be sure that you are talking to a real person before you invest too many feelings. Getting a girlfriend could be as easy as playing a new Internet game or joining a chatroom on a topic that you are really interested in.