If you’ve just started speaking to a girl, you can bet she’s deciding whether she wants to carry on the conversation or look for the next guy. Your chance to make the right impression is short and you have got to make each second count.
If you start by asking boring questions like “What’s your name?” or “Where do you come from?” or “Where do you go to school / where do you work?” then the conversation may turn out to be a short one. Girls get approached by guys asking these kind of questions all the time and if you’re saying the same things then guess what? She’s going to think you’re just another “random guy” doing what “random guys” do. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that they need to be nice to get the girl, or be rich, or be intelligent, or whatever. These things all matter a bit (and a lot more the deeper you go) but what is most important at the beginning is that you are interesting.
How can you be really interesting to someone you’ve never met? Everyone has their go-to stories, jokes, games, or one-liners. Guys who are naturally successful with girl (aka “naturals”) call this “using their best stuff.” For guys who have learned to be the best pick up artists in the world, we call them routines. You can find thousands of great, quick, interesting things to say to get a girl’s attention early on by looking for routines. It’s not about memorization; look at the structure and pattern of what the top pick up artists in the world actually say and do when they meet women, and you’ll see how to do this yourself with your own material in no time.
Or, for a step by step guide to building routines from starting the conversation to getting through last-minute resistance check out the Routines Manuals (there are two volumes). PUA by the way means pick up artist, but it doesn’t just mean one night stands – it means attracting and dating beautiful women in general). The routines manuals contain the best personal routines of the most successful “ladies men” in the world.
Still, it’s not only about what you say to a girl, it’s also about how you say it. Even the best lines in the world are not going to get you the girl if your tone and body language are wrong. At some point you may have had the experience of being intimidated by another guy’s good looks only to speak to him and instantly realize that he’s not the player you thought. Without realizing it you probably picked up that he had a weak voice, poor posture or just seemed awkward. Girls are constantly judging us in this way, picking up on our voice, expressions or our body language… and they are a lot better at it than we are! You could be saying anything but if your body is telling her that you’re weak, needy or downright scared then it’s not going to be long before you hear the words “I have to go find my friends.”
All these things can be worked on and improved but they take time and patience – often it’s a case of undoing bad habits picked up over a lifetime. The quick fix is to make sure you smile, stand up straight and try to enjoy the conversation. But if you are serious about fixing the things holding you back then there are a ton of videos and other resources on the PUA Video channel. It’s also worth asking a trusted friend or wingman to look out for ways to improve your body language. For the ultimate assessment you can sign up for one of our bootcamps. Our expert instructors tell you what you are doing wrong and how to get it right. You will also learn about progressing conversations with the women you speak to.
Talking to women is a skill that takes time to perfect but if you make an effort to improve, you’ll soon realize just a few changes will give you a huge advantage over other men. Go out, practice and, most of all, have fun doing it.